I’m a compassion advocate. That’s my word for who I am and how I am in the world. I believe in interlacing my care for someone with a strong, hope-filled, faith-driven voice.
Compassion advocate replaces a word that no longer works.
Comes a time when a word loses its power because it has been stretched and skewed and sheared to the point that we are unable to share a common understanding of its original intended meaning.
That word is caregiving.
The original meaning of caregiving: A caregiver is a person who provides care for children, the elderly or the chronically ill.
But the word has taken on a lot of baggage. It has too often come to be associated with:
- Someone who depletes herself (and it’s usually a her) while caring for someone else.
- Someone who has a problem—because in our culture, we believe the caregiver should not be giving immense care.
- Someone who is shamed or demonized for the help they are giving.
- Someone who is weak because they are giving.
- Someone who is pathologized for the role she or he is playing.
I don’t see it that way. Of course, we must acknowledge that the nature of caregiving in the face of catastrophic or chronic illnesses is an extraordinary act of love.
When I hear someone say, “I’m just a caregiver,” I want to say that caregivers are not doing It because we think less of ourselves—we do it because it’s part of our humanity.
If that were true—that we are in the role of caregiver because we think so little of ourselves—that’s not a good place for caregiving to come from.
Love is the medicine
My belief is that love is what fuels healing, and the place of “less-than” or “not-enough” is not love. But what I believe is that the root emotion of most caregivers is love, and that’s the best source of healing.
One of the most vital roles caregivers play as they are attending to loved ones’ physical and medical needs is advocacy. They advocate not only for physical and medical care, but emotional well-being as well. They advocate for the patient’s voice to be heard. They advocate for compassion at every step of the way.
Action, advocacy and tenderness in the flow of life
That is why I embrace the new term—compassion advocate. This is the person who explores and upholds treatment options, guiding the loved one through crucial decisions during an overwhelming time. This is the person who encourages the loved one through the day-to-day routines of care. This is the person who shows up with hope and courage.
Compassion advocates:
- Know that love fuels healing.
- Know that patients who have advocates receive appreciably better outcomes.
- Are confident and empowered because they know they’re making a difference for their loved one.
- Thrive on interdependence.
- Know they cannot do this alone.
- Stay connected to the flow of life.
- Advocate for their loved ones and the courageous role they play.
I like the term compassion advocate because it captures a blend of the kind feminine energy of compassion with the action-focused advocacy of the masculine. That it is a balance of energies aligns with my view that we are interdependent beings. Like the bee, we may be blessed with the skills of self-sufficiency, yet we know we do our best work together. There is a true joy and generosity in investing in others because it places you in the flow of life. (Read my Bee and Bee Totem Affirmation here.)
Come on over to my Say Hello page and tell me about what happens when you take on this new mantle of compassion advocate. Tell me about how you live into the experience of the compassion advocate and how it feels different from the way you have called yourself before. I’d love to hear.
